Dear Self - The Balancing Act

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I am no pro at motherhood.  Many days I feel like I failed at everything. I wrote a letter of things I want to remind myself in order to balance life as a mama, step-mama and working mama.  These things may help you as well.  PLEASE share if you have any other tips to offer!  I need a tribe to get me through!

Dear self,

1. Remember there is always tomorrow.
You have a mental running list at all times of things that need done.  From work tasks to bills that need paid to laundry that needs washed. This list will NEVER end.  Trying to check "it all" off the list before the day is over is a feat that will not get accomplished.  Do what you can, and what you feel like, and let the rest go until you get the time or energy to do it.

2. Let it be messy. 
Until the time comes you can hire a cleaning lady, your house will never be dusted from top to bottom.  Every room will never be vacuumed all at once.  People will have to come over and sit in a living room where there is a tea party set up in the corner and Nerf guns on the ottoman.  Sorry, self.  It just isn't going to be clean 100% of the time.  People that love you will forgive you for it.

3. Use your planner.
Mommy brain or old age, you just cannot remember everything.  Scratch that - you can't remember ANYTHING.  If someone tells you something and you don't write it down, you WILL forget.  Leave it open on your desk every day to remind yourself what day it is, what you have to do tomorrow, a week from now, 7 months from now, and tote it around wherever you go.  Oh, you need to know where the basketball game is in 3 weeks and at what time?  Hold please.  Thank you Lily Pulitzer. 

4. Remember yourself and lose the guilt.
Sometimes you just want to go get your nails done.  You want to sit in the salon for two hours and read a People magazine, drink cheap wine, and let the massage chair beat up your back.  Sometimes you feel REALLY guilty for choosing this over seeing your kids or doing something around the house, because when you work during the week, your home time just IS limited.  But it is important to take care of yourself.  You are NOT a selfish ahole for taking 2 hours of the month to do something for yourself.  You need to recharge your batteries to be a better mother.

5. Don't forget the mister.
Don't forget to take a few minutes every day to remember the mister.  He has his own list of things things he's balancing, too.  He might have forgotten to tell you he loved you before he left today.  You maybe haven't had a real conversation with just him in days.  Even when you're both running 90 miles an hour in opposite directions, stop to tell him you love him.  Take a minute and give him a real kiss.  Make time at some point this week to have a little bit of you and him time.  Your relationship needs a battery recharge every now and then, too. 

6. Remember you are good enough. 
You can't have dinner with every friend you love every week.  You can't be at every party.  You can't workout every single day.  You can't attend every networking event.  I'm sorry - you can't.  Plan 1 dinner a month for friends and rotate month to month.  Pick 1 networking event per quarter and rotate to which you attend.  Pick a time of day, or two or three days a week, that fit in your schedule to workout and make it a priority.  Prioritize.  Your friends, work success, and health IS ALL important but you cannot do it all, so don't try.  Be happy with the 1 or 2 things you can do.  You are still a good employee.  You are still a good friend.  You are still smokin' hot whether you missed the gym today or not.  And above all, you are still a good mother.

xo-Ava

Oh and PS: 
Here are some other mommy bloggers who you might want to check-out.  These ladies really do it all!  Find your tribe!

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